A few months ago Judy sent me a mask to decorate, finally I have been feeling well enough to work on it.
As Judy suggested, I decorated the Outside, and the Inside of the mask. The Outside shows what I show to every day people, those who don't know me well enough to know my health issues, or those I simply do not what to see the inner me. The Inside shows how I feel about me, the things I only show with a few or keep to myself. (If you read my other blog Picnic with Ants, you probably won't be surprised by the Inner Me, however, you may learn a little bit more about me.)
|Side view of my outer persona.|
|Inside, I'm much more complicated.|
Below you will find close up views of my Inner Self.
You will notice many contradictory thoughts.
As I said...I'm complicated.
For the inner part of the mask, I painted the face, then I cut out a bunch of words and some pictures from different magazines. I then started looking through the words and just picked up the words that shouted at me. I knew these words best described how I am feeling at the moment. I didn't use a lot of pictures, the water running from my eye, the heart that seems to be leaking - broken, for a nose.
This was a great exercise. It helped me realize that I have very conflicting thoughts and emotions about myself, and that's OK. I think it's normal to have these conflicts. I'm not a machine or made with a cookie cutter, I'm a complicated woman! I'm full of emotions, thoughts, and beliefs. Over the mouth you will see the words "I Hate You", it's not unusual for me to tell myself that, but right beside it you will find the words "Easy to Love"...Sometimes I hate myself, but I remember to love myself too. (often I just hate the things that are happening to me, not actually me.)
The one quote I find the most comforting, is "I'm beautiful on the Inside".