Tuesday, December 13, 2011

What Color is your emotions?

Once again, I found myself inspired by my good friend, Judith Westerfield's blog.
Creativity to the Max, is a fun and inspirational blog, you should check out if you haven't already!

Today she talked about How to Express Your Emotions Using Colors

So I did.  Most of the time she uses paint with her groups, but it can get a bit messy when in bed, so I used my computer.
I didn't erase anything.
I just picked a brush and a color, and let loose.

This is what I came up with:

Resented are Mad Sad, Glad, Fear, and Disgust.

This could not have come at a better time for me.
I feel like my emotions are all a jumble.
I noticed that Anger (or Mad) resembles a person, and seems to be holding on to Sad.  But Glad is trying hard to over come it.  Fear, feels much bigger in me...but he is hiding in the corner.  Afraid.
I was surprised to find Disgust leaking into everything.

I've been in this bed for so long, I haven't even been out side for 12 days, and the day I went outside, it was to go to the hospital and come home.

I'm sure if I looked back in my journal (other blog) I could figure out the last time I had a really good day, and was able to spend some time away from the house.

I remember the day before Thanksgiving, we braved the grocery store, we needed 2 things.  I almost broke down in tears and had a complete panic attack.  I wasn't feeling bad, not with the vertigo and such like I so very often do...no this was because of my hearing.  I couldn't tell which way sounds were coming from, I kept getting in people's way and didn't know it, people kept coming up behind me and scaring me.   I was in a huge grocery store, with Stuart close by, and I felt so isolated, and overwhelmed by stimuli at the same time.
I may never go in a grocery store again.  (I know that's a bit overly dramatic, but I usually shop at the Farmer's Market or our local Co-Op, both are much smaller, and more manageable.  Even if I did cry the last time I was at the Co-Op.)

Right now, life is a bit overwhelming.  I want to be mad at someone.  I feel I'm taking it out on Stuart, and he's really trying his best.  But I need to be mad at someone..I need to get some of this anger out.
I will...but I don't think I need to let it all out at once.  If I did, well, they might describe our house as another Chernobyl. Complete Melt Down.

Thanks Judith for giving me what I needed today.
I'd love to see how other's express their feelings with color....so send me some, or show them on your blog.
You can do it, it doesn't take long, and it gives you something tangible to focus those emotions on.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

I can't believe it's been so long!

Wow, I simply can't believe it has been so long since I posted.

I really don't have a lot to share.

I colored a tree...I like it a lot...I think it will be an e-Christmas Card.  I'm simply not up to doing much more than that.  : )

The doctor says the surgery went well, I had constant vertigo for a week, and it's still coming and going, but I'm much better than I was a week ago!!

Here's my cute little tree:
I drew this little tree in ink, and colored it in Photoshop.

Here is a work in progress.
I showed you  a HOPE design, but I simply didn't like it, I felt he letter for HOPE got lost in the design, so I started over.
HOPE - before coloring.
I will be hand coloring this version, as I plan to give it as a gift.
(and we all know my color printer kind of sucks!)
This one has many of the same doodles in it the first one did,
but I changed some things, and think I like this one better.
I didn't use a lot of black areas, I will probably add some later,
 but wasn't sure what I might want to color.
So this doesn't stand alone very well,
the colored version is on it's way.
There are a few more things I could add, not much, the recovery from this surgery has been brutal.
I will post them as soon as I'm up to using the scanner.  Yes, I know it's not that hard, but I do have to get out of bed.  : )  Not something I've been able to do much lately.

Hope to post more, and come around to see all of you soon.

May your holidays be happy, and filled with joy!
Remember, Christmas isn't about all the stress, hustle, and bustle...it's about giving.  I'm not talking about presents, I mean giving of yourself.  Showing people you care.  Be nice to a stranger, help your neighbor....  
Be Happy and you will light up someone's day!
and remember try to keep this spirit of Christmas all year long!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Wrapping up November.

I may not have been able to post every day, but I did try to create, something, everyday.
Sometimes even the smallest doodle can be a great accomplishment.

My husband has only once asked me to draw something for him.
He asked for a butterfly design.
I'm pretty proud of this one....he likes it a lot too.
Next, I'll play with some colors for it, but I really like it as it is.
(This took me a couple of days to complete.)

This Doodle was done in three parts, over three days.
I can tell exactly where one day started and another began.
The moods definitely change from one segment to another, and it has little cohesion.

Some of these things I'm surprised I'm showing,
 but even silly little critter sketches can help me feel better on days when it's difficult to even move my head.

Thinking about headaches, and surgery coming up tomorrow.
This was a very therapeutic sketch.

I just drew a shape, and it became this Silly Goose.
I love the cute little expression he has about getting a gift.

Another sketch from a shape I drew.
I can't decide if she's in pain, singing, depressed....or perhaps she just slipped and bonked her head. 

Barbershop Quartet Singer.
Another drawing that started a just a little shape, and turned into this funny man.

Starting to think about Christmas.

Happy Holidays!

With this, and the next couple of sketches, I was experimenting a little with some portraiture.
I must say, it's nearly impossible for me to get proportions right when I'm lying down.
(see how the eyes are straight)

This was still in progress,
She would end up with a cool design cloth draped over her head, but the eyes are too far apart, I may never get back to her.

I don't even know why I'm sharing this one with you.
She is so out of proportion.
I admit the angle is a bit odd, but there are so many corrections needed for this piece,
I think it'll probably be time to just start over.
 There were a few more sketches, and a couple of things that are still in progress that I've been working on a little.  My ladies - Nature, Freedom, and the Mystery lady - have all hit points where I'm not sure what to do next.  I keep trying things on the computer to see if I'll like it before working on the original drawing, and nothing is working like I want it to so far.  But I have been working on them....I'm sure they'll show me who they want to become soon.

Tomorrow is surgery day.  (I guess technically today, I didn't notice it was so late!)
I have to be at the hospital at 11:30am.  Surgery is at 2pm.  Not sure how much art I'll be getting done for the first few days.  Hopefully, at least a silly little sketch or two!
But I need to remember to
You may remember this drawing I posted earlier in it's black and white version.
I think the color adds a lot!
For those of you who don't know, and are somewhat interested.  The surgery I'm having tomorrow is on my left ear, and will hopefully help control the vertigo I've been having.  I had this same surgery on my right ear nearly 2 years ago, we think it helped control the vertigo being caused by that ear, if it works for this ear, I could be looking at more days up right!!

The surgery is called Endolymphatic Sac Enhancement Surgery.  The endolymphatic sac is located right under and too the back side of your ear.  For people with Meniere's this sac fills with too much fluid and that creates havoc with the delicate "balance" of things.  (pun intended)
You can go here http://www.pehni.com/patient_ed/endolymphaticsac.htm  to read a little more about the surgery.  It's very hard to find exact information about it on the internet.  I think that is because different doctors do this surgery in different ways.  Some decompress the sac, some add a shunt, some simply remove the bone and create a larger area for the endolymphatic sac so it can expand without leaking.  This is what my doctor does.

Looking forward to creating more as I heal.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Please Forgive the Lapse in Posting...and thank you Judy!!

I'm so sorry I haven't been posting lately.

I've been dealing with some major issues with the Meniere's Disease.  Vertigo nearly every day, has severely limited what I can do.  I have drawn some, worked on some things in progress, ect....but I need to scan them, and that I haven't gotten to.

I'm having Surgery on Thursday, December 1st.  This surgery will hopefully help with the vertigo.  If it doesn't stop it, it will at least hopefully slow it down quite a bit.

Judy Westerfield

I would like to thank Judy Westerfield and Max over at Creativity to the Max, for the encouragement and healing wishes, and for putting up a post featuring Mr. Notgoodenuf, you may remember him from a previous post.

Here is a link to her post.  She is the therapist who suggested this exercise, so hearing her take on Mr. Notgoodenuf, was thrilling.

I promise to post some of my recent work soon...very soon...I don't feel I've been as prolific as I was being, but I've made some strides, and some set backs, but that just shows I still have much to learn.   And I'm going to have fun doing it!!!

Hope you are all enjoying this holiday season.

Monday, November 14, 2011

A Beautiful Day!

Today I had a really good day.  Minimal headache, minimal pain, minimal balance issues...a really good day.

I took my lunch out on our back porch and enjoyed the nice weather (70's F, with a breeze).  Hubby was getting the last few things that our garden produced.  Some catnip for Max the cat, some hot peppers, and one last tiny leak.  There's still a little bit of arugula, but not enough to do anything with.  Perhaps if I buy some salad greens I'll mix it in.  Unfortunately, our garden didn't do much this year.  Shortly after we planted, and things started growing, I got sicker.  So it didn't get watered, or taken care of much at all.  We did get a number of tomatoes, a bunch of potatoes and shallots....but that's about it.  (other than herbs, the herbs did well.  Now it's drying time.)

While I was sitting out enjoying the great weather, there was a gust of wind and a whirlwind of leaves came blowing off the trees, it was beautiful.  They were dancing through the sky, their last waltz.  I had a giggle.

I came in and created this.  A little sketch on Photoshop.  It really doesn't do the scene justice, but it makes me feel good inside from the memories.
The Last Dance.
Leaves blowing in the wind.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

AEDM - Catching up. Days 6 - 13

I really have been doing some kind of art work every day, but I haven't been well enough to scan it and post about it.  Today, I'll be catching you up on what I've been doing

November 6th
Started Coloring this Hope design, afraid the word is getting lost.
I think this may just be too busy. 

Design Nov. 6th

Design Nov. 7th
Exploring Paisley.

2nd Design Nov. 7th
A bit different from my normal designs.
I like part of it, but not all of it.
However, I do like the more simplistic elements of this design.

Design Nov. 8th
Discovering Blue Ink.
Colored inks seem to look better on this off white paper.

Design Nov. 9th
Not crazy about how this turned out.  I like it better before I colored in the circular area.

Design Nov. 10th
Another exploration with Paisley.

Design Nov. 11th
Originally this was going to say "Respect", I made the letters too big for the paper.
I haven't been sleeping well lately, so I thought Rest would be a good reminder for me.

2nd Design Nov. 11th
This is a bit different for me, just plain and straight forward.
However, the red makes it look a bit angry, that wasn't what I was going for.
I'll try again for a better Strength design.

Design Nov. 12th
Just started doodling, and this came out.
I like this one, reminds me of a Sepia Toned print.
Reminiscent of the Art Deco period.

Today, Nov. 13th, I had a horrible migraine,
and the tinnitus coming from my left ear was so very loud.
I drew how I was feeling.
Not a pretty picture, but it made me feel better to get it out.
This post is part of Art Every Day Month.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

AEDM 5 - Letting go of the Inner Critic

My friend Judith Westerfield has a wonderful blog called Creativity to the Max.
Judy is a licensed Marriage, Family Therapist, Certified Clinical Hypnosis and Guided Imagery Therapist.
She teaches workshops in Creative Therapeutic Expression.  (I wish I lived close enough to attend them!)

Luckily for us she has a page on her blog for Tutorials.  I love going to her Tutorials page and letting myself go.
Last night I worked on Funsson Lesson #1.
Getting Rid my INNERTIC (Inner + Critic = Innertic) - 

For detailed instructions please see Judith's Tutorial page....plus you'll find lot's of other creative endeavors you can work on.

First she gives you instructions on how to create your INNERTIC, then comes the therapeutic part....

This is my INNERTIC:
My Innertic, "Mr. Notgoodenuf"
With messages I have for him written all around.
When you finish drawing out your Innertic, you finish it off.  First tell it off!  Write words and phrases that you want to tell your inner critic...hurt his feelings - make him leave you alone.

Next you destroy him!  That's right, scribble all over him, tear him up, heck...feed him to a goat!  (not one of Judith's suggestions, but if I had a goat that's what I'd do.)  
Get rid of your Innertic.

If he starts coming around again...repeat this exercise.

Free yourself from your inner critic!

This post is part of Art Every Day Month and NaBloPoMo..

Friday, November 4, 2011

Mystery Lady continues. AEDM #4

I had a very bad day yesterday physically, so I didn't get to do much art work.

I've added a little to the Mystery Lady....

Background created in Photoshop

Mystery Lady Sketch added to Background.

This post is part of NaBloPoMo and Art Every Day Month.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Art Every Day #3 Mystery Lady Begins

I've begun a drawing of a Mystery Lady.  I still need to color her, and clean her up.
Here she is so far:

sketch and outline of Mystery Lady

This Post is part of NaBloPoMo and Art Every Day Month

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Art Every Day #2 - Doodles

Today is day 2 of Art Every Day Month, and NaBloPoMo...plus many other challenges for the month...
Whew! November is a busy month.

Shells Doodle
Learning to draw in Photoshop on my Wacom Bamboo tablet.
Repeating Circles...just for fun

This post is part of NaBloPoMo and Art Every Day Month Challenge

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Hearts Card Design - Art Every Day #1

On November 5th, my father-in-law is getting married.  We are thrilled for him and his bride.
I find it so heart warming that these two found each other.  Both are in their 70's, both lost their spouses about 7 years ago.  Here's to you, John and Margaret!!

I won't bore you with the many, many designs I went through trying to create the perfect card.  Of course, I still don't feel like it's perfect, but the wedding is soon, and hubby likes it, so it's a go!

I created the same card in color and in Black and White, we both liked the colored version, but it didn't print well, (I colored it with Photoshop, and we need to get some ink for our printer.), and we thought the Black and White was classier so we went with that.  Here's both:
Two Hearts - Black and White

Two Hearts - Color

Feedback is always encouraged and appreciated.

This post is part of NaBloPoMo and the Art Every Day Challenge

Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween!

Today is Halloween, my favorite holiday!  Unfortunately, this year we haven't been able to celebrate or decorate like we normally do.

So I did a couple of silly little drawings to celebrate the occassion:
The Trick or Trick Monster

Scaredy Cat
This was drawn on paper with ink, colored in Photoshop.
I hope everyone is having a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Tomorrow starts NaBloPoMo month.  (National Blog Post Month)
I've decided to try and post every day in November.
This challenge is on BlogHer starting this year.  You can win prizes if you post every day, and you can enter as late as November 5th, but you must have post every day for the month of November.
If you'd like to join, go to: http://nablopomo.blogher.com/

I'm also participating in Art Every Day for the Month of November, hosted by Creative Every Day.
This is a much more laid back challenge.  You are not required to post every day, or even create something every single day, it is a challenge to at least work on something every day.  However, if you can't keep that up, it's alright, this challenge is simply to encourage people to create more!

You may get very tired of me this month, but I hope not.

Tomorrow I will be posting the final design of the card for my Father-In-Law and his future bride.

Friday, October 28, 2011

A Little Different - Lucky Lucy

Lucky Lucy
After having a very good day, and re-reading The Little Endless by Jill Thompson, I was in a whimsical spirit, so I drew Lucky Lucy.

If you've seen Jill Thompson's Little Endless characters, you will probably see a resemblance.  Lucy is kind of a mixture between Delirium and Death.  (I know if you haven't heard of the Sandman series by Neil Gaiman, or know anything about the Endless, you are probably pretty lost by now.)  I won't go into detail about the Sandman series, and the Endless.  If you are interested, I'm sure you can find out more.  : )

So Lucky Lucy was born.
I had a pretty "normal" day yesterday, today I'm back in bed, but it's rainy and cold today, so I'm not feeling my best.  (this weather triggers both migraines and Meniere's...double whammy!)

Here's hoping Lucky Lucy will bring more luck my way and I'll have many more "normal" days ahead.

This post is linked to Web of Whimsy .

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Posts for the Week. Much more than I thought!

When I thought about posting this week, I kept thinking...I really haven't done much.  But I was wrong!

No I haven't completed a lot.  I've been writing in my journal much more.  And I'm recuperating from a minor surgery on Wednesday.

So this post is full of little sketches, partially finished drawings that will hopefully become more, and a lot of hearts...yes, hearts...I'm trying to come up with a good design for a card for my father-in-law's up coming wedding.   I would love to hear if you like any of them...all need work, but I think some have possibilities.  Remember, this couple is in their 70's, so some things that I might normally do, just wouldn't work.

So a lot of here and there this week, but it shows that I'm still determined to create.  It really does help me get some emotions out, and to feel like I have a goal.  I believe it is so very important for a person who has a chronic illness that has taken so much of their previous ("normal") life away, we must find goals we can accomplish, and look at things a different way.  Even when you have to take things just one day at a time, you can still look to the future.  My future is often just tomorrow, or even a few hours, but it's my future, and I'll get there.  One goal at a time.

The drawings in this post couldn't be scanned, so I took pictures instead.  (many are from my journal and it won't lie flat.  Other's are from a large sketch pad that doesn't fit in the scanner.)

From my journal.  Feeling lonely.

Journal Sketch.  I tried to write a poem about my pain but it just wouldn't come.

Journal Sketch.  All about the Lumbar Punctures and Cerebrospinal Fluid Patches.
Notice the CT scan, the needles, pills, and the maze I'm trying to get out of..
Also, you might see, that I drew a broken heart, but changed it.  It's not broken, just cracked a little.

Journal Sketch.

More sketches while journaling.

yes, another journal sketch.  Perhaps I'll finish this one.
Maybe not.

Journal Sketch number??? At first I was trying to figure out how to draw a vortex, or something like it to add to a journal entry.
Then I got that freaky looking eye, in the upper right.
Which led to the other freaky eyes and such.
Stuart says it looks like a tree man. (he loves the eyes, such a funny man)

OK, I told you I did a log of writing in my journal this week.
And while I'm writing...my mind wanders, or I need to clear out the cobwebs, so I doodle.

And doodle some more.
This looks kike a really neat lady, didn't finish her middle, but she was supposed to represent my feelings about binging on any food I could find that night.  But she doesn't look miserable, like I did, she looks fun.
Does that tell me something??  

Now we are into some sill sketches.
I decided the heart I drew looked like a nose...he looks like a  pig with really big ears doesn't he?

and he led to these critters.

I must apologize this is out of focus, but my camera needed to be charged, and this  is too big for the scanner.
This is no where near finished.  Hopefully, I will someday.
It's going to be a strange forest...I think I was in Alice in Wonderland mode again.
Years ago, my husband brought me some water soluble crayons from Switzerland.  This picture looked like a crayon sketch...just add water...and what a difference.  (I think I used too much water though because it bleed a little)

Now, we start on the hearts.
Lots and lots of hearts, none of them finished.

Just because hearts are drawn close together doesn't mean they are to be put together.
These are all just sketches.  Most have not been shaded.
And the finished product will be colored.

Funny, I really thought there were even more hearts, but this is the last page.
The two in the upper right, are not meant to be together.  They just ran over each other.

Silly drawing.  Someone mentioned a whirly gig, and I came up with this.
Well, I started this, I never finished it, after all, a whirly-gig just calls out for color.
And I don't think it should have a large tentacled arm....but he just popped up.

Another doodle, just a doodle.  The stars, moon, sun,  rain, wind, earth, and life (plants).
Just a day inside my brain.

Another unfinished piece...this one may never get finished.
 Things went a bit sideways, and now I just don't like it as much.

This will get finished.
I'm making this for my neuroradiologist, because even if this doesn't work, she gave me hope.
This will have color, so you will see the word better after everything is colored in.

This post has been shared on Creative Every Day.

That's all for this week folks.  Hopefully, I'll get back to my ladies this coming week.
But it doesn't really matter what I'm drawing, as long as I'm accomplishing something.

One day at a time.

Oh and a shout out to my Fish Friends.  (you know who you are.)