Saturday, August 20, 2011

Expressing My Feelings - with Finger Paint

I've read in a few books, and on one of my favorite blogs (Creativity to the Max) about expressing one's feelings with color,
So I decided to give it a try today.
I just sat down at my desk and thought about how I was feeling.
At first I picked up a box of crayons, I thought about covering a sheet of paper with layers and layers of colors then scratching designs in it...but then, I noticed the finger paints.  
Not only would I be able to express my feelings with color, and texture...but I could also get the tactile sensation...feel the motion...
My first painting...can you tell that I'm troubled about something?  The swirl that you may see in some of my work represents my vertigo, and disequilibrium.  The red is anger, the blue is sadness, the green is confusion - with hope.  The fingers on the left side and sliding off the page, showing how I feel I'm loosing a grasp on this illness.  But still there is hope.
This is the second painting.  I looked at my hand and saw this wonderful swirl of color on it...this  mixture of color and emotion.
This painting shows how confused I am, how life spins out of control for me right now.

 (both figuratively and literally).

Immediately after I finished these paintings and went to clean up I started to get a horrible headache, and feel more off balance.  I was having a good day today, but the further into the day, the more I started feeling icky.  

I'm glad I got these emotions on paper, and accomplished my goal of creating something today.  I do wonder, if bringing all these emotions to the surface may have contributed to me starting to feel bad?  I may be feeling bad physically, but emotionally, I'm feeling much better.

On Monday, I will be having another lumbar puncture to test my cerebral spinal fluid  (CSF).  If you'd like to know more about all of that, you can find it on my other blog Picnic with Ants.  
I may not be able to keep my goal on Monday, but I'll try to do a little something.  (I do normally sketch some in the recovery room.)

Here's one last picture to leave you with today:
A shot of my desk with the first painting just being finished.
Yes, I did get paint on the desk, on my shirt, and on me!
Good thing it's washable.  (as my husband said, "You know not to paint without your smock on.".... I answered "but I was just going to color.")  *shaking his head, as he helps me to bed*

Thanks honey for taking the pictures for me...and all your support.


  1. Wow, finger painting -- what a fantastic idea. I haven't done that since kindergarten!
    I have to go to the dollar or more store tomorrow -- I'll see if they have washable finger paints!
    Thanks for sharing your creativity. Bringing emotions to the surface can be stressful. And stress expresses itself in the physical as well as the emotional realms.

  2. Phylor,
    I must say this exercise brought out more emotions than I thought it would.
    And it was fun too.
    I had kid's washable finger paints so when our friend's kids come over they can play artist with me. You know what? I don't think any have ever used these paints...but some colors are almost gone..hummm..wonder who's been using them?
    I hope you find some. (I found these on clearance at Walmart, a big pack, still can't figure out how they fit them all in the box, I can not get them back in! I guess spatial relations are not my thing.)


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