So I decided to give it a try today.
I just sat down at my desk and thought about how I was feeling.
At first I picked up a box of crayons, I thought about covering a sheet of paper with layers and layers of colors then scratching designs in it...but then, I noticed the finger paints.
Not only would I be able to express my feelings with color, and texture...but I could also get the tactile sensation...feel the motion...
|This is the second painting. I looked at my hand and saw this wonderful swirl of color on it...this mixture of color and emotion. |
This painting shows how confused I am, how life spins out of control for me right now.
(both figuratively and literally).
Immediately after I finished these paintings and went to clean up I started to get a horrible headache, and feel more off balance. I was having a good day today, but the further into the day, the more I started feeling icky.
I'm glad I got these emotions on paper, and accomplished my goal of creating something today. I do wonder, if bringing all these emotions to the surface may have contributed to me starting to feel bad? I may be feeling bad physically, but emotionally, I'm feeling much better.
On Monday, I will be having another lumbar puncture to test my cerebral spinal fluid (CSF). If you'd like to know more about all of that, you can find it on my other blog Picnic with Ants.
I may not be able to keep my goal on Monday, but I'll try to do a little something. (I do normally sketch some in the recovery room.)
Here's one last picture to leave you with today:
A shot of my desk with the first painting just being finished.
Yes, I did get paint on the desk, on my shirt, and on me!
Good thing it's washable. (as my husband said, "You know not to paint without your smock on.".... I answered "but I was just going to color.") *shaking his head, as he helps me to bed*
Thanks honey for taking the pictures for me...and all your support.